We did! I'm not sure we wanted to - we actually tried everything but a diamond. Emerald, Ruby, then Sapphire. Apparently diamonds are the only ones up to the challenge of 'every-day-wear.'
Ladies - if you're involved in this - I suggest you walk away, now... run! Being involved was not the best idea. I could see every inclusion - even in VVS stones and perfect stones are, well, not worth it. Price, yes, and because it's best to know there's an inclusion so that you get back your ring if you ever get it cleaned somewhere shady and then you know it's a natural diamond and your diamond in return - you just never know.
Men - I give you props. This process is grueling if you do your research. Biggest advice - get it appraised before you buy at an independent place. I recommend Heidi Harders at Chicago Gem and Jewelry Evaluation, Inc. and run far away from Allied Gem. Heidi charges $25 bucks and will be the most honest - with her help - you'll find the best. Reviewed in more depth below.
Cut, Color, Clarity, Carat - the 4 C's. The other important factors - don't get fluorescence above Medium (but medium or below is kind of cool if you don't mind your ring glowing - ever go to the luminescent bay?). Alright - cut is the most important, but color is up there to me. I could really tell a D from an E from an F. They say those are all colorless... but I disagree. Color is more important in fancy cuts - less so in round. Round cut is more expensive - more desirable.
Clarity - now, if having the 'most rare' is important to you - worry about this. Though, as long as you can't see the inclusions with your eye (black dots or white fractures), then it really doesn't matter. I wanted perfect originally - until the price tripled and I decided I wanted to tell I was getting my stone back when I went to clean it. ;) This is an irrational fear, but I went with it to save money!
Carat - how big you want is up to you and your price limit. We went smaller only due to cut. It was hard to find the best cut for us - we went with a fancy cut and cut is difficult on those and there's no standard 'rating' like there is with round. A well graded round cut helps eliminate looking at stones you're not interested in.
GIA - yes, get a GIA rated diamond. End of story.
'Ethical Diamonds' - Oh we tried, and tried - but if you get a GIA rated stone (which you should) there isn't a way to tell where the diamonds are from. People can say they're vintage or recycled, but that still doesn't mean it was mined ethically 50 years ago. Unless you get a lab created diamond - there's no way to ensure it's ethically sourced. Fancy stones/gems, you can usually tell where they're from and can read up on the history of mining in those areas. Again, you'll need to do your own research and try your best - but nobody is going to tell you the exact origin and history unless you're getting a $500k+ stone. Even then - look at the Queen's Jewels - they're stolen!
Let me start by saying that Chicago Jewelers Row will charge you 20% over wholesale. Even on our best day... this was the case. I went to each one and the ones with ability to access wholesale charged 20% - the bad ones will charge more. We tried offering less and didn't get far - good luck with this - maybe you have more skills - comment and let me know! This being said - Tiffany's, Cartier, etc. will charge 3-4x more than jewelers row for the same stones and it's harder to be picky there. So, pick your battle.
We went up to some of the wholesale offices. Yikes! They were all a bit shady. The ones on the street weren't much better and will be more money. New York Jewelers and Windy City Jewelers will have access to wholesale diamonds. I also liked the feel of Diamonds on Wabash. I narrowed it down to these based on reliability and prices. I also decided upstairs was far too much for me to handle. At the end of the day, 5% more was worth it for us to search off the street in a nice store. Personal preference on this!
Windy City won - but if they don't own the stone and have to 'get it in' - plan on a good 20% over the diamond wholesale cost. If you're into fancy cuts - it might be worth the battle going to the shady spots upstairs. My least favorite upstairs - Gale Diamonds. Stay far away! They purposely had us wait and showed us stones we already indicated we had no interest seeing.
Alright - that's the basics - here are links (to be updated shortly) into more details about each place, fancy cut, etc.
Oval guide!!
Appraiser Guide
Color
Clarity
Fluorescence
Chicago Jeweler Rating